Time between ceremony and reception

futuremrsburroughs · October 2011

I posted this on the October 2012 board but I figured I'd post it here too

Our ceremony is at 1at Our Lady of Sorrows church in Hamilton. So it'll probably be done around 2 or so. Our reception is at Mercer Oaks in West Windsor. The only problem is that the reception doesn't start until 6! The coordinator at Mercer Oaks told us that it would be best for us to have it start at 6 because all the golfers would be gone at that point.

So my question is, what shoud I do to keep my guests entertained during that 4 hour gap?

Pharo47 · October 2011

Hey MissZippo! Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! I totally understand your concerns with the gap. Unfortunately, you may get some unfavorable responses from some people on this board.

I was in a similar situation ( not quite that long of a gap) but close enough. Since you have quite a bit of time before your wedding, you can put a nice effort into this. I would recommend you putting together a map of local things that people can do in the area (coffee shop, bar etc.). I would also looking into providing some refreshments at either the hotel or another location for after ceremony so your guests aren't emaciated before the cocktail hour. Calculate the length of your estimated ceremony time, the amount of time that you will need the guests for pictures and when the shuttle picks guests up to bring to the venue so you can get a clear idea of what the true down time will be.

LADY324 · October 2011

Are you talking about your bridal party? Or all of the guests invited to your wedding?

How far of a drive is it from the church to the hotel? Are you providing a shuttle service from the hotel to the reception? If so sometimes people will go to the hotel freshen up and check in. Maybe have a drink or 2 at the hotel bar. It just stinks for the people not staying at the hotel. If people live close enough they can always go home for a little bit in between.

futuremrsburroughs · October 2011

Hi pharo47, thank you! Those are good ideas. I think I'm going to call our church and see if we can get the ceremony pushed back to a later time. If that's not possible, I will definitely keep your suggestions in mind!

futuremrsburroughs · October 2011

Sorry Lady324, I just saw your post. I was able to move our ceremony to 2pm. And FI just reminded me that people can get to our recep venue an hour before hand. So that helps a little.

HobokensFury · October 2011

With a 4 hour gap be prepared for a lot of guest to skip the ceremony.

Pharo47 · October 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_time-between-ceremony-reception-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:39fc2d0c-0824-4b6d-9d8a-c8fe008a4998Post:15622da1-0ba0-4730-81c6-3f6c7cdb13b8">Re: Time between ceremony and reception</a>:
[QUOTE]With a 4 hour gap be prepared for a lot of guest to skip the ceremony.
Posted by HobokenBride2012[/QUOTE]

Couldn't agree more with this one. We had a gap and it was on a Friday so we were definitely prepared that a lot of people would miss the ceremony. Do the best you can to accomodate the guests that are trying to make it and that's all you can really worry about. I had about a 50% drop off for the ceremony compared to the headcount for the venue.

futuremrsburroughs · October 2011

Well, I did just move the ceremony to 2pm. And they can get to the recep venue and hour in advance. I think the timing will be good now. It cuts it down by an hour and it's not like we'll be in and out of the church in exactly 1 hour. Then people will be able to freshen up etc. Fingers crossed, hopefully it works out well.

LissyM83 · October 2011

I'm dealing with the same thing... we're getting married in Westchester and our reception is in NJ. Our church (full mass) starts at 2pm so I'm anticipating it ending around 3. Our CH (Florentine Gardens) starts at 6:30 so this leaves our guests with 3 1/2 hrs of "downtime." We tried to factor in Friday night traffic though b/c the Tappan Zee can be a nightmare & wanted to also give our guests (who are staying at the hotel) enough time to check in, get ready & make the shuttle.

futuremrsburroughs · October 2011

I'll keep my fingers crossed for the BOTH of us then! Although it does sound like you will need that time between your ceremony and reception, it may work out perfectly for you guys!

cindyn9178 · October 2011

I think this greatly depends on your guests and where they are from.
Our ceremony was on a Friday, so I knew that some people would skip it, whether it was at 2pm or 5pm. If someone works on a Friday, and can't take off, there is a good chance they won't be able to make it.. unless you could have your ceremony start at like 6 or 7pm which is highly unlikely.
Our ceremony was at 3pm and our cocktail hour started at 7pm. It was about a 45 minute drive from the ceremony to the reception. There was a hotel block, with a shuttle. So the guests that came to the ceremony and were planning to stay at the hotel just went there to hang out and then took the shuttle which left at 6:30.
Our ceremony was over and receiving line was done by about 3:45. Then, we did our exit and guests started leaving the church around 4pm.
Luckily, not many of our guests were try OOT people, so they just went to a family member's house for about an hour before they needed to drive to the reception. Some people did show up to the cocktail hour about 30 minutes early and that was fine.
I find that usually in cases where there is a big gap, there is some kind of distance between the ceremony and reception, so I've never skipped a ceremony because of the gap. If the ceremony was at 2, and the reception didn't start til 6, and it was 5 minutes away from the ceremony, but an hour away from my house, then yes, I'd probably skip the ceremony -but that would also depend on who's wedding it was, etc.. so a lot goes into it.
Sorry this is so long winded! lol.. all in all - you know your guests best. If you think they need to be entertained during that time, maybe arrange for them to go to someone's house for light snacks and beverages to pass the time.

37 Butter Knives · October 2011

We had a three-hour gap on a Saturday. I wasn't happy about that (I always keep reading about how people despise gaps and no one's going to be at the ceremony aside from your immediate family and attendants), so I was surprised that at least 85% of the people at the reception were also at the ceremony! We had a wedding website, so what I did was list suggestions for things to do before the reception, including going to the hotel bar, visiting a nearby garden or going to the Short Hills mall.

LissyM83 · October 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_time-between-ceremony-reception-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:39fc2d0c-0824-4b6d-9d8a-c8fe008a4998Post:3263b188-d156-4359-9465-eaf7b1f70425">Re: Time between ceremony and reception</a>:
[QUOTE]We had a three-hour gap on a Saturday. I wasn't happy about that (I always keep reading about how people despise gaps and no one's going to be at the ceremony aside from your immediate family and attendants), so I was surprised that at least 85% of the people at the reception were also at the ceremony! <strong>We had a wedding website, so what I did was list suggestions for things to do before the reception, including going to the hotel bar, visiting a nearby garden or going to the Short Hills mall.
</strong>Posted by 37 Butter Knives[/QUOTE]

We're going to do this as well. I would have preferred not to have a gap either but because we're getting married on a Friday and due to the distance, it's def. better off that we have one.

LissyM83 · October 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_time-between-ceremony-reception-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:39fc2d0c-0824-4b6d-9d8a-c8fe008a4998Post:e711ad22-2afd-4be2-a8d0-8f1ab41b3367">Re: Time between ceremony and reception</a>:
[QUOTE]I'll keep my fingers crossed for the BOTH of us then! Although it does sound like you will need that time between your ceremony and reception, it may work out perfectly for you guys!
Posted by MrsZippo[/QUOTE]

thank you! hope it works out for you too!

futuremrsburroughs · October 2011

Thank you Cindyn9178 and 37 Butter Knives! Your posts were a great help! I'm going to look into the hotel and shuttle service by the recep venue and see what I can work out with them. My parents also live close by so people can go there as well. Thanks again!

kristen8040 · October 2011

Don't stress about it too much, people will find things to do, and if they don't they'll just skip the ceremony.

Pharo47 · October 2011

I actually like having a gap between the wedding. I never miss a ceremony so it allows me to go back to the hotel and freshen up. Then B.S. with some of my friends over some drinks and then go off to the cocktail hour. It makes the wedding feel a lot longer and not fly by. It feels good to take some time and slow things down. Life is a big enough rush as it is.

futuremrsburroughs · October 2011

Very true Pharo! That's a good way of looking at it. I think it will all work itself out on our big day. Like I said, now that I've moved the time (even though it's only taking care of an hour) I think the timing of everything will be perfect. I believe that one hour will make a big difference.

jess4xo3 · October 2011

Don't worry about it! It's your day.. My ceremony is at 3 and my reception at 7... There is a pretty big gap but we did that on purpose so that we can take pictures and enjoy our cocktail hour with guests.. And not have to rush around.. It takes a lot of planning and it would suck if you rushed around the entire day and ended up missing part of the cocktail hour or something... Its your day and everyone else will make their plans around the schedule... We do expect many people not to attend the ceremony but very close friends and family wouldn't miss it! Good luck!

odonnellalys · October 2011

I have a gap too - I was going to change the mass time until I met with the Limo company. They pretty much ran down an itinerary of the day and really put things into perspective for me. I am doing a 3pm mass and 6:30 cocktail hour (Il Tulipano, Cedar Grove) on a Friday night in July. If the mass ends at 4, then the guests that attend the ceremony stand in a receiving line and then hang out outside for a bit, that really could be anywhere from 30-50 minutes of additional time - at that point, it's close to 5pm. They can either go to the hotel to freshen up, go home to freshen up, or drive to the reception early and find a nearby coffee shop before cocktail hour. I am taking Friday night traffic into account, and my limo driver says that if I move the mass up any further, I won't have time for pictures in betweeh the church and reception.

Recommendations of a nearby Starbucks, DD, bar, or anything to kill time is better than suggesting nothing. But in the end, it is your day and you do have to think about your agenda. Everyone else will understand - don't worry!!!

futuremrsburroughs · October 2011

A BIG thank you to the last two posts! You guys are absolutely right, thank you for putting it all into perspective for me!

gymchick05 · October 2011

I had a gap too and was worried, but it worked out fine. We had a full Catholic mass at 2pm. It was over by maybe 3:15, then recieving line,exit w/ bubbles, and photos at the church and we left a little after 4. The guests left by 3:45- 45min drive to the reception. Our cocktail hour started at 6pm, but we added on a "Welcome reception" that started at 5:30, so by the time you factor in the drive, they had less then an hour wait. We also had the reception at the hotel, so needed to leave a little time for ppl to check in in between. It will work out-

I was at a wedding where the church as at 12, cocktail hour was at 6 and they werent far apart, we just hung out at the hotel and had a snack. It will work out- oh and I think 90%of our guests came to the ceremony:)

futuremrsburroughs · October 2011

Thanks PP! That helped calm my nerves a little bit lol

foxxfire90 · October 2011

In general, I am not a fan of having a lot of time between, and I do see than many guests do not come to the ceremony if it's in the afternoon (especially on Friday.....) But seriously, you can't worry about it if you can't do anything about it.

My question would be on the reception end; I've done many, many weddings at golf courses that had golfers still there, lol.....how intrusive could they be? (I actually worked at two last month that closed the public bar so the cocktail hour could be there.... I'd investigate that opart to see if they could let your guests start cocktails at 5:00; that makes the gap much more reasonable when you figure in famous NJ traffic.

Celia Milton

Time between ceremony and reception

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